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Boundaries are critical and they create space without creating distance. When your daughters turn 12 here are dos and donts.
Stay involved
Daughters really thrive at knowing they can rely on their father to always be there for her. Consistent level and demeanor go along way especially when they get to adolescence when her life is falling apart. Her dads steady guidance and calm objective goes a long way. Proximity doesnt equal presence stay woke! And make time for her.
Date her
Love covers a multitude of sins and mistakes and at this age she is bound to make a lot of mistakes. The only two thing you can do about love as her dad is show her by showing interest in a certain hobby of hers or tell her you love her. Being loved and celebrated by her daddy makes her not hungry at male attention.
Be her dad
This goes a long way in making her realize how needed she is and this builds and boost herself confidence .You should make it a healthy self-confidence by focusing on her inner qualities which also develops a strong self-esteem.
Respect
Your daughter will only follow your rules and guidelines only if she respects you. When she is young she might adhere to the rules because of your authoritative nature but after she is grown its only her respect that can make her follow your guidelines.
Speaking the truth
You are needed to speak the truth in her life. we live in a world where most of the things she hears are not true say from culture, politics advertisement and ideologies that aim at influencing her decisions even when not true. You should teach your daughter the absolute truth so that no one can get her twisted around.
Be transparent
Call a spade a spade and ensure you acknowledge when you make a mistake and be quick to apologize. She expects you to be perfect but when such a thing happens she learns to respect you and trust you more.
DONTS
Dont check her out during puberty
So much about being her dad should be you fighting the shame she faces from the world. Avoiding her questions about her changes instills a sense of shame. Dont try to joke about her experience in any way because it is humiliating and she least expects that from her dad. Acknowledge when you do not have the answer and assure her to do research.
Dont drop the princess title
She remains a princess even though she could be growing old the withdrawal of your attention may negatively impact her emotions. Let her be the doll until she decides otherwise by herself. You can maybe develop a better pet name as she grows up but dropping her title could wreck your boat.
Dont threaten her boyfriend
This could backfire on you drastically. You taught her to love and it is part of being a person. This may cause her to engage in relationship without your knowledge which might not be good for your princess but attacking her suitor pushes her away and may make her chaotic in future relationships. Respect can be best earned by a father who respects her daughters choices
Dont say its girls stuff
Turning away from her interests is a way of saying there is something inherently wrong with her tea a party or her dress up. Its best to get in the game even when its girly stuff regardless of how pinky and sparkly it might be. It shows her interests and ideas are valid and she is an important asset in your life.
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